THERE IS A LOT OF CRYING
There are happy tears, mad tears, sad tears, and just because tears. I have never cried so much in life until I got married. Marriage is full of exciting adventures and new things. You are living with a new person, you are doing new activities, you get to do what you want, and make big decisions. With all of this comes stress. Stress always leads to tears for me. I cry when I get sweet gifts, I have cried because I was so mad I was shaking, and I have cried because of so much loss. But all of this crying has lead to the most meaningful conversations, vulnerable talks, and best hugs. Crying is a big part of a marriage but that doesn’t mean it has to be bad. I have so many happy tears too. There are times in marriage that are overwhelmingly joyful and so happy, happy tears are a must in these situations.
YOU ARE CONSTANTLY NAKED
I feel constantly naked in my marriage. Not just the unclothed kind of naked. (that is also great) I feel vulnerable and exposed constantly. And that is a good thing. I feel exposed when I am unclothed, I have no makeup on, and I cant hide. I feel vulnerable when I cant hold my emotions back, I get stressed, and when I feel like I am not being a good wife. Being a wife in general is a very vulnerable job. You feel like you are constantly have people watching and critiquing you. Are you cooking everything right? Can you have children? Are you satisfying your man? Does your home look spotless? Do you have a good job, or are you staying home? These are all things that make a woman feel completely naked.
I personally struggle with this the most, I am not a cook, I hate laundry, and we do not have kids. I would rather take a granola bar and snacks to the lake after work instead of cooking. I find it dumb to hang up my clothes if I am going to take them right back off. I would call myself the fun wife. Someone once asked me what exactly I did as a wife if I didn’t do all the typical things. I told them that I am a fun wife. And fun wives cant have anything holding them down, and they need a wide open schedule for fun activities. And it works for me. YOU DO YOU!
IT’S ONLY AS HARD AS YOU MAKE IT
Marriage can be fun, or it can be hard. You decide. You can dwell on everything, you can get mad easily, and choose to not communicate. Or you can choose to understand your spouse, listen to them, and fight fairly. Respect is also key. Take the time to learn what your spouse loves and partake in those things. Even if you hate what they love, respect them enough to say, “Hey, you are important to me, and because you love this, I will support you.” Support your spouse in everything. Be on their team always. And just go with the flow. Life is exciting and fun if you let it be. Loving someone is easy if you let it.
COME TO THE FIGHT WITH CANDY
If you are going to fight, get ready to get distracted. I can’t tell you all how many times I have been so aggravated that I felt the need to fight. And within 5 min into the conversation, we are talking about something completely different. I might feel the need to fight about why something didn’t get done, and we will start joking and laughing about something that happened earlier that day. So bring some candy to your fights, it will make everything go more smoothly and you will have something to snack on when a quick tiff becomes a 30min conversation about the guy you saw yesterday going down the road.
YOU DON’T JUST GAIN A SPOUSE, YOU GAIN A BEST FRIEND
When you say your vows and you make all those promises, remember that you are not just saying them to some guy or some girl. You are saying them to your future best friend for life. I thought Britton was my best friend almost 6 years ago… but now he is so much more. He is my very very very best friend. I think taking the time to remember that he is not just my husband, but my best friend for life, helps put things in perspective. He is not just my provider, my rock, and my better half. Being a best friend means he is the person I confide in, look up too, talk to when I am upset, and put all my heart and soul into. When you are best friends it makes it so much easier to walk through life together, forgive, and say sorry. It helps you remember he is not just some guy who is suppose to be perfect, he is my friend, and he is just like me.
These are not just tips for married couples, they can easily apply to happy dating couples too. I wish the best to all you love birds. Weather you are married or just getting the love started, enjoy it. Have fun, take trips, let things go, and talk. Life is so amazing. HAVE FUN MAKING IT!
Photo cred:Kinsey Mhire